Spiritual Turkey Beggar Baste Mechanism/Trapezoidal Juggernaut

"Marvel as the Legless Collider does furious battle with Mrs. Shark's Snort, Jo-Jo the Dog-faced boy, the ever-elusive ho-hum imps and the rest of the cast of oddities and freaks in Spiritual Turkey Beggar Baste Mechanism! Complete with twelve, YES, count 'em, TWELVE fight scenes! ALL occuring in infinite suspension! Behold the ethereal and mysterious tensile-strength of the utility foglets and God-like Gummy Lake that is sure to leave your head spinning! You'll be pinching yourself for days afterwards and have an unexplicable craving for pineapple!" "Witness firsthand the circus ring symmetry of Trapezoidal Juggernaut, like i-spin conservation [sic] making fortuitous predictions about decay rates amongst father-son interactions! Prepare to be amazed as a gauge-invariant physicist and noble trapeze artists duke it out, blurring the boundaries between what's ALIVE and what's REAL! An adventure spanning the Hindu Koosh to Fermilab, culminating in a random gun battle with Mexican federales in an El Paso Circus! Not without its fair share of innocent bystanders! "