A Little Off-Kelter...the parenting years

Nod sympathetically if you’ve ever… …extracted a gum wrapper from a toddler’s nostril, but sought medical treatment when it came to a piece of a colored pencil lodged deeply into an ear canal. …punished a child because he wouldn’t stop taunting his brother with a Peter Frampton album. …played a rousing game of “What that’s funky smell?” only to discover what might be a petrifying bologna sandwich behind the recliner. …needed a prescription for a tranquilizer when your firstborn started driving. …spent any amount of time trying to describe why a Sleestack scared you, why you wanted to marry the Fonz, and who Mork from Ork was. …installed a security system to keep a three-year old from going on the lam with his beagle, and pondered if it were possible that both of your children were reincarnates of Harry Houdini. …wondered how a child who once emitted the sweet scent of newborn now puts off an odor that could make a skunk feel inadequate. …ever rambled incoherently, “These kids are going to drive me to drinking,” or something about a frontal lobotomy. If you nodded like a bobblehead, chances are you’re a parent - or you’ve got some really strange hobbies. A Little Off-Kelter…the parenting years is a collection of forty columns that originally ran in print. (Hey, the compilation thing worked for Ronco and K-tel, didn’t it?) Whether the kids are underfoot or have flown the nest, moms and dads alike will relate to these humorous tales of woe and wonderment.