50 Shades of Stupid

All right, Guys. It's time to man up! Your woman's been ignoring you for weeks, locking herself in the bathroom, where you hear her moaning and you know she's reading that Fifty Shades book. And you're getting pretty sick of it. Well, it's time to put an end to that. So here you go. an action plan: Drag her into the kitchen, rip her clothes off, and order her to cook your favorite meal. And while she's doing it, let her know what a dope she is, by reading to her from the pages of this book that you're holding. And then, when you're done, have your meal, tie her to the sink for safekeeping, and go out bowling with the boys. Enough is enough.