HOW TO HEAL FROM AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP: HOW TO DEAL WITH IT AND REBUILD YOUR LIFE

Many survivors of domestic abuse swear to themselves after they've escaped that, now that they know the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship and potential violence, they'll never enter another abusive relationship again, only to find the cycle repeating itself with the next person. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, "On average, it takes a victim seven times to leave before staying away for good."Often the psychological abuse can leave someone feeling fearful, helpless, and powerless to act on their behalf. People affected by domestic violence are rich, poor, married, divorced, or single, from all ethnic backgrounds and economic levels. They can be able-bodied or with a disability, heterosexual or homosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and/or transgender. As someone affected by domestic violence and battering they will find that they have common issues with many others who have also experienced this type of violence.If you have a psychologically abusive partner, recognizing the signs and acting on the situation can be extremely difficult. One of the tactics of an abuser is to make you believe you have no choice but to stay, and it can become even harder when you have been isolated from loved ones. The first recommendation for victims of psychological abuse is to end the relationship with their abuser. Your safety is the most important factor, so take the necessary precautions. Talk to someone you trust for help if you feel unsafe, and end the relationship via text if you need physical distance. Victims should give themselves grace—it is normal to miss and love an abusive partner—but continue to do what is best for them.Part of the healing process from emotional abuse is caring for yourself. When in an abusive relationship you can quickly lose sight of what a healthy, normal lifestyle should look like. Loss of self-esteem is one of the hallmark consequences of emotional abuse victims because they are led to believe they don’t matter or they aren’t valuable.Abusive relationships break down your trust in other people and keep you isolated. Remaining socially isolated can keep you feeling down and dependent on unhealthy relationships. It is also common for individuals who receive constant criticism, judgment, and rejection from past abusers to experience feelings of unsafety in social relationships or a fear of being negatively evaluated and rejected by others. If social isolation has crept up on you, it’s time to reconnect.Be patient and empathetic with yourself as you heal. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel confused, scared, tense, angry, or any other emotions that come up. These feelings are a normal part of the healing process and there is no rush to get past them. They are yours and it’s okay to sit with them and experience them. Having and experiencing painful feelings doesn’t make you anything except courageous.Recognizing abuse in a relationship can be difficult. Abusive behavior may start slowly and can take on many forms, including emotional abuse, manipulation, financial control, digital abuse, sexual coercion, and physical violence. While the signs of abuse may not look the same in every relationship, possessiveness and intimidation are common indicators of domestic abuse. No matter how complicated things are now, there are good people out there who can help. Often the first step is the hardest. If you are suffering abuse or have just left an abusive relationship, find someone to talk to. Once you are on the path to recovery, you will feel stronger bit by bit and start to heal.