The Last Great Hollywood Novel

In a funny, fast-moving, mystery novel, Jordan, a long-time Hollywood resident and book author and artist and screenwriter, looks at life in Hollywood, a place he knows well, having lived there on and off since 1990. Jordan, author of WEIRDO DELUXE and BUKOWSKI'S LA, writes with the same enthusiasm for satire that Bukowski had when he wrote about Los Angeles and Hollywood. In the course of the novel, we discover a kooky, funny, and poetic Hollywood where people's lives go bizarrely astray. There's a noirish mystery to be investigated. Mac, the son of a porn-film producer, has vanished. Apparently he has gone on a binge of booze and partying with trannies while figuring out ways get even with an aging Vegas crooner who he hates. The protagonist and character who narrates the story, Ron Jon Bone, is a former porno and action-film star. He tries to find his pal Mac and help out, but he has his own issues. He's trying to reconnect with a long-lost lover that he's sure he once had a relationship with, even if she denies it. Ron Jon Bone, aka Rem Veck (his real name) just wants to make paintings of his lost love, Lola. He also wants to kick back and write Waiting-for-Godot-inspired screenplays. And some poetry. But maybe all the drugs and booze and the women-in-prison films made in the Philippines resulted in permanent memory loss -- or is he right about his long-ago connection with Lola Lynne, wife of the rock star Rick Rush -- whose death under mysterious circumstances haunts her? Would it help to write a book about it all? Would that bring it all back? What about confronting Lola in person? And why, as he began looking into all this, did her former agent die in a shootout with the police? Eventually a writer named Matt Dukes Jordan appears in the novel to help sort things out. As we go along the weird gets weirder, the humor wilder, and the story more poignant. "It rolls off nicely." -- Charles Bukowski (in a letter to Jordan regarding a short story by Jordan called "The Real Buskowski.") "One of the best novels about the Hollywood I've read, including Bukowski's. Builds momentum in the opening chapters and by the end I couldn't put it down." -- Michael Meloan, Hollywood screenwriter, novelist, and WIRED magazine contributor "Jordan's mystery about Hollywood is a revelation. I've been there, so I know." -- Ted Otis, Hollywood Actor now working in films in Europe and based in Prague "Jordan has devoted his life to both pop culture and crime fiction and film so I trust him to blend them in interesting tale that takes us along some scum-covered Hollywood side alleys and out into the bright lights of the Boulevard." -- Mike Malloy, actor and director of Eurocrime, a documentary “I try to live with honor... It's very unusual in Hollywood. Few people are trustworthy – a handshake means nothing to them. They feel required to keep an agreement with you only if you're successful or they need you.” – James Cameron (who has not yet read Jordan's novel, but would probably like it) "Hollywood is like being nowhere and talking to nobody about nothing." -- Michelangelo Antonioni (1912-2007, who might love Jordan's novel, if he were still alive) "For fun, for laughs, for a cool and crazy ride through Hollywood, read this novel!" -- Ed Wood (channeled by Ramone, a fortune teller with an office in the Hollywood Building at Cahuenga and Hollwyood Blvd. where Jordan rented offices in 2002 and 2006)