Shrinking the Heroes

Carl Brandon Society Kindred Award (2007)SPECIAL CITATION (Runner-Up): Philip K. Dick Award (2007)Meet the F*O*O*J, the World’s Greatest A body with the density of steel, and a brain to matchTHE FLYING Aging playboy industrialist by day, avenging krypto-fascist by nightIRON Mythology’s greatest warrior, but the world might be safer if she had a Formerly of the League of Angry Blackmen, but not formerly enoughTHE Radioactively flyPOWER Perpetually deciding between fighting crime or promoting her latest album, clothing line or sex scandalThey’re Earth’s mightiest super-team. And dysfunctional as hell.Having survived arch-criminal assaults in the 1950s, intergalactic aggression in the 1960s, affirmative action battles in the 1970s, and having finally defeated all its arch-enemies in a battle global in the 1980s, the F*O*O*J finds itself in a peaceful world without super villains--and thus bereft of a mandate.Without external foes, the phenomenal F*O*O*Jsters are reduced to waging toxic office politics rife with their own arcane idiosyncrasies, bizarre perversions, mutual contempt and explosive neuroses, leading to what must sooner or later be a workplace super-powered civil war.Only one woman can save them from Dr. Janice Brain-Silverman, AKA Doctor Brain, the world’s leading therapist for the extraordinarily-abled.But when the planet’s most hallowed hero dies unexpectedly, career-ending depression descends, accusations fly and conspiracy theories boil--is the age of heroes truly over, or has an old foe returned to exact revenge on them all? Can the F*O*O*J survive its two greatest assassination and group therapy? Advance Praise for "UNMASKED! When Being a Superhero Can’t Save You From Yourself" by Doctor Brain “Brilliant, easy-to-implement life-changing guidance and classic examples from the careers of our greatest legends, written by the leading therapist of the extraordinarily-abled.”--The Übermensch Reader“If I’d had this book twenty years ago I could’ve saved myself decades of rage, violence and self-loathing, not to mention a $4 billion judgement against me by the city.”--Clifford David Stinson, AKA the Blue Smasher“Were I still at my psychiatric practice and had I not begun my career of mental butchery that led to my incarceration, I would unreservedly recommend this fine volume to all my living patients.”--Menton the DestroyerAbout the authorDr. Janice Brain-Silverman lives and works at the Hyper-Potentiality Clinic inside the refurbished Mount Palomax Observatory in Los Ditkos. She has been helping hyper-hominids for over twenty years, and is the author of such best-sellers Habits of Highly Defective NemesesWhy Do Bad Villains “Happen” to Good Heroes?Evil Geniuses Who Hate Humanity and the Women Who Love ThemSacred Reclaiming the Demi-God in YouSecrets from Menton’s Using Two Lefts to Make Yourself RightBeing Super-Mom in Today’s MultiverseSide-Kicked! When the Alpha-Hero Treats You Like OmegaBulletproof, SchmulletproofSecret Origins, Your Miserable Life