The Hellish Adventures of Alice #1: No Handbasket Required

I'm just like every other schmoe around here trying to get by. We work, we have bosses, we commit heinous crimes to get a better apartment--hey a girl NEEDS a decent sized tub to soak her cares away! The bad news is that we get countless new residents every day, and they don't know the rules. This year during the Holidays at the Mall, I got stuck with a clueless trophy soccer mom. Between her mouth and extended shopping hours, I was ready to do a good deed just for the solitary time--until a certain fella in a red SUV showed up to put everything to rights.