Goldilocks And The Three Gay Bears

When Goldilocks breaks out of prison (she was sent there for tax evasion… fucking liberal government), she flees into the woods. When she stumbles upon an unoccupied cabin, she breaks inside, eats all the porridge, and takes a nap in a cozy-as-fuck bed. When she wakes up later in the day, it’s to the horrifying sight of three gay bears hovering over her. (No, not the animals… hairy gay men!) At first the gay bears want to kick Goldilocks out (after all, she is a girl… yuck!), but she manages to seduce them (turns out they’re actually just on the down-low, not 100% gay) and they have bodacious sex. (Well, not really.) The gay bears and Goldilocks follow up their epic orgy (not really) with a trip to a gay club on the outskirts of town. While at the club, Goldilocks runs into the evil lesbians who tried to eat her ‘golden carpet’ in prison. Will Goldilocks and the three gay bears escape the diabolical clutches of the sinister lesbians? Or will Goldilocks spend the next decade behind bars getting her carpet cleaned? You’ll have to read this deranged, perverted parody of a fairy tale classic to find out!