Love Me Tender

BLUE SUEDE SHOES Once upon a time, in a magic kingdom, there lived a handsome prince. Prince Charming, he was called by one and all. And to this land came a gentle princess. You could say she was Cinderella. Magic kingdom? Okay, if you're going to be a stickler for accuracy, in this fairy tale the kingdom is Manhattan. But there's magic in the Big Apple, isn't there? Prince Charming? Oh, boy! You've heard the rumors, I suppose. So, he's Prince-Not-So-Charming on occasion. So he drives an orange pick-up truck, not a pumpkin coach. Big deal! He is handsome. A gentle princess? Picky, picky, picky! Who says a woman has to be soft and fluffy all the time? Haven't you ever heard of a royal case of PMS? Cinderella? Well, maybe she does wear blue suede shoes instead of glass slippers, but she's looking for happily-ever after just the same. And I'm going to make sure she gets her prince and her castle, not some hound dog and the Heartbreak Hotel. --- Elmer Presley, fairy godfather