The Dick

Ex porn star Jonny Sausage wants to be more than a cook at a fast food dive, so he obtains his P.I. certificate online. It sounds exciting enough, being a private eye, but Jonny has no idea how crazy things are going to get once this gorgeous vampire dame by the name of Cristabel Swan enters his office. Swan needs a ruthless investigator to find out why her family members are being murdered, and Jonny feels he's the right dick for the job.