Sh*t My Dog Says

''I'm 30-something and live with my 75-year-old (in dog years) dog. He was allergic to my girlfriend, so she moved out. Now it's just the two of us, kibbles, and beer.'' From ''Don't be fooled. The cat is evil,'' to ''Nothing beats the feeling of jowls flapping in the wind,'' this mini parody treasury of canine wit is the straight poop scooped.